


so they dug your grave and the masquerade

by comradecourt



Category: Captain America (Comics), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Community: queer_fest, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 20:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comradecourt/pseuds/comradecourt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Marvel Comics, Bucky Barnes, That they couldn't change his bisexuality, no matter how hard they tried, was the one act of defiance Winter Soldier was able to show</p>
            </blockquote>





	so they dug your grave and the masquerade

He didn’t have a name, a voice that was able to speak outside the words they force-fed him, not a single thought in his head that wasn’t twisted and shaped into what they wanted from him. No matter how much they prodded, poked, shocked, stabbed, or tortured him he couldn’t help his most primal urges. At first, he didn’t understand what made him attracted to both genders, but then he supposed that maybe, it wasn’t a question for him to find the answer to. Maybe it was there all along, before they got their hands on him and made him into the perfect little communist puppet. 

The first time they caught him, it was with Alexei, he was lucky and just received a slap on the wrist.

“Winter Soldier, you know what you’ve done is wrong and we expect that you will not resort to this behavior again.”

“Yes, sir.”

The second time they should’ve seen coming, then again they should’ve thought twice before sticking him with a bunch of strong able bodied men to train and teach. When they caught him with Dmitri in his bed, he was whipped then his mind was wiped cleaned. When they found him with Leonid in the janitorial closet, they resorted to electroshock therapy and his mind wiped clear, again. The final straw was finding Arkady pinned down to the training mat, as the others trainees watched as Winter Soldier put their fellow soldier “in his place”. That little stunt landed Winter Soldier in solitary and a trip to Karpov’s office.

“Why do you find the need to constantly disobey me?”

“…I’m sorry, sir.”

“Lying dog.” Karpov snapped as he beat his newspaper against the desk, Winter Soldier didn’t even flinch. “If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have continued this behavior.” 

“I can’t help it.” Winter Soldier glared up at his commanding officer. “..Sir”  
Karpov slapped him hard across the face with the newspaper. “Don’t you look at me like that, you mongrel.” He snarled. “If you fuck with any of my men again, I’ll cut your balls off myself.”

Winter Soldier paled, his mouth becoming dry as he nodded.

“Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” 

They didn’t completely wipe his memory that time, they made sure Karpov’s warning rung clear through his head, or whatever was left of it. That didn’t stop him from being attracted to the little spider from The Red Room. Karpov had said he couldn’t fuck men, but he didn’t say anything about not fucking the women. Natalia was a natural, in the field and in bed. Her hair was as red as blood, and her eyes as sharp as the green moss that grew in the forest every summer. Any red-blooded male would’ve been attracted to her charm and wit. 

He stared at the cracked ceiling of the shoddy hotel room. Going undercover wasn’t glamorous, but at least they had given him a partner. 

“You seem distracted.” Natalia stretched, the shadows highlighting her curves.

“Is it that obvious?” He raised an eyebrow as he turned over on the pillow to face her.

“You’re an open book.” She smirked.

“Just… Confused.” Winter Soldier shrugged.

“Aren’t we all?” Natasha raised a brow. “Is there anything in specific you’re confused about?” 

“I’m sure you’ve heard of my… exploits with the Project Zephyr candidates.” 

“Are you blushing?” Natasha smirked. “I’ve heard… Things.” 

He groaned as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair. “Great.”

“Why? What’s the matter?” Natasha gave him a worried look.

“Go on, make fun of me. Tease me like the rest of the commanding officers.” 

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I’m a freak.” 

“You’re not a freak, an idiot maybe, but you are not a freak.” Natasha looked into his eyes. “Why would you think that?”

“Because… I like women and men.” He bit his lip nervously as he waited for her to laugh or make some sort of derogatory comment aimed at him, but instead she took his metal hand and held it in her own.

“You are not a freak, Winter Soldier.” Natalia kissed the cold metal hand. “It’s just a part of you they cannot get rid of.” He brushed his fingertips against her cheek. “Hold onto it, as if it was your life. It might save you one day.”

Somewhere, in the future he can hear a familiar voice calling out to him.

“Remember, remember who you really are.”

But that’s not now.

Now is sitting in an office adorned with Soviet propaganda, medals in glass cases on the walls, and Stalin’s ever-watchful eye, judging Winter Soldier of his sins.

“Tsk Tsk.” Karpov shook his head in disappointment. “I thought you had learned your lesson.”

“But-.”

“Do not interrupt me.” Karpov snapped. “I gave you a chance to stop your disruptive behavior.”

He squirmed in his seat as Karpov pulled the NR-40 that he kept strapped to his thigh. The knife glinted in the dull office lighting. “This was my gift to you, a sign of trust. I gave you my knife, something close and personal to me. And you.” Karpov tapped the sharpened point on Winter Soldier’s nose. 

“You went and betrayed my trust. This time, there will be no next time. No Black Widow, no Red Guardian, and none of your little Project Zephyr friends will be your crying shoulder. I will make sure you never disobey me again.” 

“Yes… Sir.” Winter Soldier swallowed thickly.

“Remove your clothes, I’ll make sure no one will ever touch you again.”

He braced himself against the wall, keeping his eyes shut tight at Karpov carved into his skin. 

~~

He blinked in the darkness; he jolted upwards as he tried to catch his breath. A light flicked on as strong hands grabbed his shoulders.

“Bucky! Bucky, it’s okay.” He blinked. “Bucky, you’re here with me. …You had another nightmare.” 

“Shit. Sorry, Steve.” Bucky mumbled as he rubbed the stubble on his face. “Yeah… Nightmare.”

“…It wasn’t just a nightmare was it?” Steve took Bucky’s hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

“No, I-.” Bucky stared down at the scars that covered his chest and trailed down his body even further. “It’s funny, after everything they did to me they couldn’t change my preference.” He gave Steve a tired smirk.

“Guess that part of you didn’t want to change.” Steve raised an eyebrow. “…Did you want it to?”

“No.” Bucky settled back into bed as Steve shifted getting comfortable beside him. “Fine just the way things are.”


End file.
